Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Parental Rite of Passage?
The rite as experienced by mom:
I was giving Henry a bath, like we normally do most nights. Everyting was just like normal until......Kerplunk! Henry pooped in the bathtub! Now, most of you know that if this happens, all the parenting books and articles that you read say not to make a big deal out of it, and to just clean it up and go on about your business. Needless to say, this is not what happened in my house. As soon as I heard "Kerplunk!" and saw Henry's little present I screamed......somewhat hysterically. Almost immediately, I had a frightened toddler standing in bathwater amongst fecal matter.
I pulled Henry out of the bathtub and averted my eyes upward, but it was too late. The memory of that little brown bowtie was already engrained in the back of my cerebral cortex....permanantly burned into my retinas. I called for Scott, yelling, almost crying "I need your help!" Scott called back, "I know you need my help!"
Poor Henry. He was so scared. He kept telling me "Hi" as a way to make me laugh, but there was a human waste deposit floating in the bathtub! I held him and told him that it was okay, and Mama was sorry, but then...the really disgusting thing happened.
Scott came, to the rescue, and took care of the whole thing. He grabbed some toliet paper, picked up Henry's little gift and gave it to the toilet. I didn't watch, but I imagined what it looked like as he was doing it. To my detriment, my imagination could not add enough rainbows and unicorns to the image to keep me from vomiting, which I did shortly after the toilet flushed.
Scott had the good grace to ask me if tonight's dinner would make good leftover's for tomorrow.
The rite as experienced by dad:
After dinner, while I was clearing up dishes and Katherine was giving Henry a bath, I heard what I imagined as a terrified scream. My first thought was that Henry cut his head open on the tub faucet, and Kat was freaking out. Shortly after, I heard Henry and he sounded calm. Then, I heard Kat yell that she needed my help.
Given Kat's pregnancy and aversion to poo, it became clear that Henry was just fine. Upon arriving in the bathroom it was clear which object did not belong amongst the toys. Quickly after I identified the source of the terror, I took advantage of the wonders of indoor plumbing and sent Henry's deposit to the wastewater treatment plant....In the meanwhile Kat was trying to calm Henry while gagging...no, whetching. It went something like this: "It's okay Henry...bbwwaaacchhhtt...", repeat. I began draining the tub and drawing a new bath. I looked over at Kat, and it looked like she was eating, and that is when I asked if our dinner would be good as leftovers.
I was giving Henry a bath, like we normally do most nights. Everyting was just like normal until......Kerplunk! Henry pooped in the bathtub! Now, most of you know that if this happens, all the parenting books and articles that you read say not to make a big deal out of it, and to just clean it up and go on about your business. Needless to say, this is not what happened in my house. As soon as I heard "Kerplunk!" and saw Henry's little present I screamed......somewhat hysterically. Almost immediately, I had a frightened toddler standing in bathwater amongst fecal matter.
I pulled Henry out of the bathtub and averted my eyes upward, but it was too late. The memory of that little brown bowtie was already engrained in the back of my cerebral cortex....permanantly burned into my retinas. I called for Scott, yelling, almost crying "I need your help!" Scott called back, "I know you need my help!"
Poor Henry. He was so scared. He kept telling me "Hi" as a way to make me laugh, but there was a human waste deposit floating in the bathtub! I held him and told him that it was okay, and Mama was sorry, but then...the really disgusting thing happened.
Scott came, to the rescue, and took care of the whole thing. He grabbed some toliet paper, picked up Henry's little gift and gave it to the toilet. I didn't watch, but I imagined what it looked like as he was doing it. To my detriment, my imagination could not add enough rainbows and unicorns to the image to keep me from vomiting, which I did shortly after the toilet flushed.
Scott had the good grace to ask me if tonight's dinner would make good leftover's for tomorrow.
The rite as experienced by dad:
After dinner, while I was clearing up dishes and Katherine was giving Henry a bath, I heard what I imagined as a terrified scream. My first thought was that Henry cut his head open on the tub faucet, and Kat was freaking out. Shortly after, I heard Henry and he sounded calm. Then, I heard Kat yell that she needed my help.
Given Kat's pregnancy and aversion to poo, it became clear that Henry was just fine. Upon arriving in the bathroom it was clear which object did not belong amongst the toys. Quickly after I identified the source of the terror, I took advantage of the wonders of indoor plumbing and sent Henry's deposit to the wastewater treatment plant....In the meanwhile Kat was trying to calm Henry while gagging...no, whetching. It went something like this: "It's okay Henry...bbwwaaacchhhtt...", repeat. I began draining the tub and drawing a new bath. I looked over at Kat, and it looked like she was eating, and that is when I asked if our dinner would be good as leftovers.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
